Tips how to survive unrequited love

Unrequited love. It would seem that everything is so romantic and sublime, where the in love is a kind of victim of a great feeling, and a person who does not respond – the villain. And it turns out the confrontation of two elements. Straight Scenario for Hollywood. That’s just if you dig deeply, then there is nothing great, romantic and beautiful – a solid patience. No, the in love person really loves, that’s just what is behind this feeling and how to minimize his consequences for in love? Read in this article.

The content of the article:

Cause reaches from childhood

Want to surprise? Unrequited love – it is rather a consequence than the reason. Surely you heard "everything goes from childhood" And I want to assure you so it is. And therefore let’s dig deep, because if you do not work out the cause or at least not understand it, you will constantly substitute the basin under the current roof instead of patching the hole.

There is such an axiom that we meet in real life only those people that already exist in our head. And the axiom is that? Right, approval that does not require evidence, and therefore accept this statement as a fact. Going on. In his picture of the world, that it was fundamentally formed in childhood, you admit a love for a person who is indifferent to you, respectively, is something about your life, about your drawer to choose partners in relations surrounding people and T.D. What can it say? About fears, complex of victim rejecting dad. Yes, a lot about what is not to list. And if you do not want to love forbidden fruits all my life, but you still want to enjoy their nectar, then you need to determine your cause and work out it.

By the way, as an example of such fears, you can give mistresses that everyone considers cunning snakes. But in fact, insidiously in them is not what they fall into bed to someone else’s husband, but what they, most of them, are in control depending on. What does it mean? That they are scary to have real intimacy and they replace it on fake, that is, it seems to be someone, but at the same time there is no one.

Fear of family relationship

And here the mistress? And despite the fact that if you are unrequited in love, then most likely it is your scenario – it is safe for you, because it is easier for you to love to be easier than every day to be with a man in everyday life, to love his scattered things and socks, dirty dishes in the sink and not Updated toilet lid. Even if you don’t fall under the script, you think about what your benefit from unrequited love? Maybe you like to be in the role of the victim and suffer? Such people are eternal something goes wrong – any work squeezes all the juices, shoes tert, but they wear it, relationships or one-sided or very heavy. This scenario of the victim can be traced everywhere and, most importantly, he comes from childhood. Why from there? Because in childhood, when a child learned to communicate, he just could interact with the surrounding (for example, with his parents) and now such a child does not know what you can be happy, and therefore endlessly suffering.

What to do if love is unrequited

To survive your unrequited love, and to no longer step on these rakes, do not go in a circle of pain and tears, you need to work with the reasons, as I have already said. What does it mean? First you need to honestly answer all "why", draw conclusions and based on these conclusions already build your way from love unrequited and filled with pain "Happy together and our feelings are mutual".

"Why" It happened unrequited love in this case can be a lot, and questions, if you wish, you can ask a great set, but only the following.

Why did you choose exactly a man?

Highlight the highlights that you are attracted in it, and think – and will your love disappear if this man answers you? You can now begin to beat yourself with a heel in the chest and talk "No, this is true love, no one ever loved how I love him I". But before remember that love is about the choice.

That is, we ourselves choose who we love. Yes, at the unconscious level, in our head there is a certain type of man, certain external and internal qualities that attract us. But at the same time, in the same level, the inaccessibility of this man is laid down. Feel thread thoughts? If you feel, then begin to analyze, and if you didn’t catch the thought, then re-read this paragraph once again, only pre-discard your prejudices and take the truth in the eyes.

Tips how to survive unrequited love

Why do you suffer from unrequited love?

Or, in other words, what is your benefit from suffering about unrequited love? You may be in the role of the victim and it suits you – so many snacks, when you regret, stretch your hand and entertain, trying to bring out of the circle of suffering. Or maybe you are so afraid of responsibility to a partner that is in healthy relationships that you are easier to be one? And here it seems like it looks like everyone else – also in love, overwhelmed, and at the same time successfully mask your fears. In this case, you can only one thing – go out of the role of the victim, because it is far from about a mature position in life, and work out your fears (either independently or with a psychologist).

That of this about your dad?

And here dad? Because all our men, one way or another, are similar to our father, that is, on how he treated us. If you had a guarding and understanding dad, then, most likely, you will choose exactly such a man. And if dad left the family and threw you at the age of 3, and then you did not hear about him / did not see, then the likelihood you choose the same man – which does not pay attention, repels, can throw, does not answer reciprocity and with which unrequited love is quite real. Accordingly, the chief council is to study relations with the Father and, desirable, not independently, but with the help of a specialist.

Unrequited love – unpleasant thing. Painful, yes. But you must feel that facet that separates common sense from dancing on rakes. Remember that you can survive one unrequited love, but over time you replace it on the second, the same unrequited, and then on the third, fourth. Perspective not rainbow, agree. Therefore, we work the causes and ohh sighs on the topic "He does not love me, does not pay attention, and I love and live without him without him" go back to stay there forever.

Posted by: Elena Fr. Female psychologist, Elena specializes in family relations and female self-realization, in Arsenal 7 years of practice, 2 education in psychology.
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Information in this article is familiarized, and not a recommendation. Please do not engage in self-medication, be sure to consult a specialist.

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