Tips to parents: how to behave if the child is experiencing difficulties in communicating with peers
As a child’s behavior, it is difficult for him to find friends, from which 3 factors depends on the development of the sphere of communication and how to behave in order not to become the enemy of their chad.
Communication is an integral part of our life, at any age. The communication process includes not only speech communication, but also interaction within any activity. According to the science of psychogenesis, 5096 genetic factors affect the formation of personality and character of a person. All of them may vary under the influence of environmental conditions and factors. Especially reactive it happens in children.
Due to the fact that the family is the first institution of communication for the child, he first takes over the experience of his adults around him: Moms, Pope, Grandpa, another significant relatives. As for communicating with peers, it begins at the playground in the yard. At the same time, the kid himself can still walk and sit in a wheelchair. Communication occurs through sociable mothers that help their children to draw attention to each other.
Adult, the child is already learning to interact with other children. In this case, parents must act as advisers. They need to explain to the child who knows the world, why not swear because of the toy, and older thanks to help understand the situation that happened on a change or while walking in kindergarten.
The most common indicators of adaptation difficulties in the collective in children:
- Poor mood after garden or school.
- Unwillingness to go walk.
- Hobbating gadgets, games.
- Accusation of other children in various problems.
- Quickly refuses the circles and sections, explaining this by the fact that I did not like.
Three factors on which the development of communication sphere depends
Temperament determines how a person acts and responds to the surrounding reality, as he is ready to interact with it. Famous fact that there are such temperament definitions as an extrovert and introvert. The first denotes a person sociable, the second – closed. In adult, both of these kinds can manifest. It all depends on the circumstances and the tasks being performed.
But with children everything is different. Before entering school, and more often to adolescence, the child does not have time to develop the skills of self-education, self-education, and even more so self-analysis. We will be honest, not all adults boast of similar merits. Therefore, it is important to keep track of the behavior of your child.
- If you grow an extrovert, it means that he has a high need for communication. It must be satisfied, otherwise problems may arise.
- If, on the contrary, your schoolboy prefers privacy and keep out of new acquaintances, then you need to respect the borders of the young introvert and not deliver to him psychological discomfort.
Knowledge of your child’s temperament can be very useful for parents. This will help better understand why the child comes so, and not otherwise; Direct it correctly to motivate the achievement of goals, solving problems. It will not be superfluous for parents to have knowledge and the features of their temperament to more harmoniously build relationships.
3. Matching surrounding
The level of mental development, or rather its compliance with the environment where the child communicates, may also affect the formation of character.
Let’s consider a small example of practice. At the reception were parents with a boy of 5 years. Previously, the neurologist set the child a diagnosis of "negros-like state", and one of the complaints of the parents was that their son does not communicate with peers. After studying the anamnesis (the aggregate of all information) – the living conditions and development of the child, as well as his environment, it became clear that the cause of the problem lies in the level of intellectual development of the boy. He was much smarter than his one year old.
In 5 years, he, in contrast to his peers, not only read fluently, but also owned the mathematics of the initial school level. He was simply not interested with the guys in the appropriate group of kindergarten. The boy stretched to the guys older, and those rejected him and even offended.
Also neurological and psycho-emotional symptoms are manifested under the influence of attention deficit and hyperactivity syndrome. Bright signs of such disorder: bad adaptation in studies, violations in behavior and communication.
How to help a child, not traumating him even more
1. Do not hurry to give advice
Children are pretty difficult to implement our adult promises. The work of parents should be in finding their mistakes in education, in the knowledge of their child, including with the help of a specialist. There are psychological techniques, the diagnosis of which will tell, in which direction to work. For example, a multidimensional assessment of childhood anxiety allows you to identify its degree in 10 directions, including relations with peers, parents and teachers.
Gradual change in the format of relations in the family, work with a child’s self-esteem, with the development of his personality will have a direct impact on its communication abilities with people. When he is interested in herself, confident in his abilities, abilities, learn to respect himself and others will have friends will appear. And most importantly – do not forget to listen to your child, listen carefully. So he felt and understood that his problems and interests is not nonsense.
2. Feel free to seek support for teachers
As for parents, many of them are either too busy with their affairs, or they are afraid of their questions and attempts to influence the situation to spoil relations with the teacher and to bring to themselves and their child "anger and premature attitude" of the teacher. As a result of all these actions and inaction, schoolboy suffers. Child or does not find support and protection, or just does not know how and who to ask her.
It is very important that the child has trustworthy relations with educators and teachers. It will help him feel safe. If you see that the child is difficult at school, take time, agree on a personal meeting with the teacher. It is important to act very carefully. Therefore, to keep confidentiality. Invite the teacher specific solutions to the problem.
Also pay attention to the child, explain to him that there is nothing terrible in asking help when you need her. And tell me to whom you can see for help when you are not near. Such participation will help your child understand that he is not alone that he can always find support. So it will be easier for him to cope with difficulties not only in relations with the guys, but also in educational affairs. Yes, and in further life too.
3. freedom of choice
Friendship and first love are a mandatory part of growing. The child communicates with whom it is interesting to himself or with those who share his interests. Therefore, it is important that he felt free in choosing friends. Yes, there may be disappointment and errors on this path, but you do not need to try to "raise the straw" everywhere. Parents should very carefully select words, giving an assessment of situations. If you do not like the company of a child’s friends or, on the contrary, you want to make friends with someone concrete, you do not need to do this using all your parent authority. Do not show your son or daughter, that only you decide who to communicate with.
4. Interests of the child
In the younger preschool age (from 3 to 7 years old, children most often have friends spontaneously – in a kindergarten group or at the playground at the house. Such friendship does not always last long. In the process of growing up the child appears specific interests and hobbies. It can be a sports section, theatrical circle, computer network game, music and so on. Most often on the basis of common interests and is a real friendship.
Therefore, we assign with respect to the interests of your child, even if they seem to you not serious or even "harmful". This is especially true of computer games. "Network friends" are no less important, such are realities. Support, try to understand, pee, or maybe, if necessary, correctly adjust them, send to the constructive channel. If a child has no interests yet or can not decide on the hobby, help him. Rely on his skills and opportunities.
5. Start with yourself
Most life situations can change the daily work of a person over themselves. If a child sees how his parent is changing and acts, he will definitely begin to behave. In other words, the timely decision of difficulties in communicating and compulsory participation in this parent – the key to a successful future child.
Communication problems with people can limit many opportunities to develop and implement the child in the future. Prepare, let go of a harmoniously developed and happy person in adult – the dream of almost every parent.