Tips for future fathers | Tips for young fathers
Let’s go back to the triumphate conversation: Mother – Child – Father. Able to feel a permanent miracle, to be involved in him, adequately take part in the process oh, how not just. Where a woman is enough to listen to the inner sensations, a man is needed conscious impulses. Where the nature of the female female is to a certain extent compensates for her mistakes, a man is deprived of such tips. He also needs help, and the woman can be better than everyone – his child’s mother.
Tips for future fathers
It has been repeatedly said that the main participation of the husband is to understand mutual understanding, psychological support, in active participation in solving new problems related to future parent. Completely normal that the future father, all feeling, does not always know how to express your feelings, as not in words, but in fact, to prove that he is for a healthy pregnancy and for a healthy kid. Well, exactly, exactly, like that famous dog from a joke: I understand everything, I can not say. But dad, as well as, however, the moms, no one teaches anywhere.
The main thing is the desire to know, find out and in practice to use your knowledge.
The future dad must not hide his joy from others, and first of all – from his wife, and tell her about it. Hope for the passage of healthy pregnancy, prosperous childbirth and the birth of a healthy, strong kid. He needs to assure his wife in what he wants to participate in all stages in his own way, as he can support her. Here is the process of family creativity, and it is impossible to repeat it for someone – all individually.
For example, one future dad due to his employment at work constantly called his wife. She applied the phone phone to the stomach and was happy that the future father did not forget that their child lives and grows.
There are organizations where they are preparing for childbirth, to future paternity and "motherhood, where women not only receive information, but also communicate with each other, engaged in gymnastics, relaxation exercises, read useful literature, can, if desired, go to the theater, museum in Companies of the same future mothers. The task of the Father is to find such an organization, express your desire and consent to classes in the women’s club, and, of course, if these services are paid, then find the opportunity to pay them. Only a healthy woman who is psychologically and physically prepared for childbirth can give birth to a healthy baby, and this will continue to have a big impact on the harmonious development of the child.
Influence of music on pregnant women
Permanent listening of music can be a genuine learning process. In his interview, the American conductor Boris Brot on the question of where he learned to love music, answered as follows: "This love lived in me even before birth". Getting acquainted with certain works for the first time, he already knew the game of the violin before turned over the score page. Brother could not explain the cause of this phenomenon. Once he mentioned this with a mother who in the past was a cellist. She looked at her old programs and found that the Son knew the very works that she learned, being pregnant.
On the well-being of the future mother, joint walks with her husband, movies in the cinema, theater. But we must make sure that there will be no militants in the repertoire, tragedies and horrors. In ancient Greece, a pregnant woman surrounded beautiful things and drove in beautiful places. If you wish, you can walk on foot, travel (not in the last period of pregnancy) by beautiful corners of nature, attend exhibitions, museums. It is useful to listen to classical music, which means it is worth buying an audio or video tape with such music. The fruit perceives the music that the mother listens during the concert. He selectively responds to the program. So, Beethoven and Brahms act on the fruit exciting, while Mozart and Vivaldi soothe him. As for rigid, sometimes aggressive compositions of rock music, their adverse effects on the child are noted. It was noted that future mothers are often forced to leave the concert due to intolerable suffering (strong pains, bad well-being) experienced from the excessively active movement of the fetus. So they should listen to other, melodic music.
If the expectant mother, in spite of proper diet, walk under the moon, visiting theaters and exhibitions, still feel discomfort and anxiety, it is necessary to consult with your doctor for contraindications for massage. And failing that make an easy massage. When the woman’s partner gently massaging her belly, they both enjoy, feeling the first tremors of the child and defining its shape, as well as watching his development by touching stomach.
Is it possible to essential oils in pregnancy?
Massage and essential oils to help smooth the discomfort, pain, nausea, vomiting, swelling of the lower leg or foot, have a beneficial effect for other illnesses, such as headaches, heart palpitations and sleeplessness, which are not uncommon during pregnancy. Especially useful during pregnancy aromatherapy, because at that time smell sharpened. smells treatment – this is one of the known methods that help maintain the health of the expectant mother and fetus.
If the pregnancy more than three months, the best way to get acquainted with your baby is a stroking massage of the abdomen expectant mother. During the massage the stomach child is in the womb, settles down.
What the husband of a pregnant?
So, while his wife is pregnant husband can participate in the following way in her life and the life of the baby:
- help in changing the regime of work and rest of his wife;
- to provide psychological support to take care of his wife to get positive emotions;
- quit bad habits or not to give in to them in the presence of his wife;
- walk more, go to the theater, to get out of the nature;
- enrich food in the family;
- to remind his wife on holiday, day dream and that she was not nervous and did not react to trouble, since not only the father, but the mother is responsible for the peace of mind of the baby;
- be gentle, careful and attentive;
- wife arrange a course or club for expectant mothers, where she will receive the information that is needed during pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum, and learn to care for their baby and his upbringing;
- make a massage wife (about how to do it, it is better to consult a specialist);
- wait, believing and make every effort for the birth of a healthy baby, regardless of the floor, because in the womb, the child feels, whether it is waiting for him.
For example, if in the womb a girl, and parents are waiting for a boy, then she is insulting there. Then the parents will love her and will be wondering how it was possible not to want the birth of such a cute crumb, but for the girl this intrauterine injury will remain for life. She will have problems with parents and with the opposite sex. Therefore, it is necessary to say the child that you are waiting for him, whoever he is, and useful as much as possible to communicate with him. He hears everything and stick or leg will be written in response.
Thus, if the future father during the pregnancy of his wife will be guided by the above councils, it will have a huge impact on the process of harmonious development of the child.
Preparation for paternity
Before marriage I had six theories regarding the education of children, now I have six children and a single theory.
With the advent of the child, the time of hassle and everyday difficulties will begin – it is rare without it. Waiting for a child – time of reflection and internal training. "I’m waiting for a child" – this feeling you need to each of the parents. Prepare, tune, not moving on his participation in the life. We can say: to be a real father – just as big work and as great happiness as being a real mother.
Mother accounts for more difficult than father. Both in physical and psychological plan, and from the point of view of everyday device on a woman assigned a much big parental load than on a man. True, a man can be downloaded by his work, he can help in every way by the economy, buy food, wash the diapers, but still hassle associated with the child, his share has much less. He communicates less with the child, he is less watching him, less participates in his first contacts with the world. And in this father harder to be a father than mother mother. He needs a special desire to become a real father, perseverance and even ingenuity to achieve this.
Very hurt and offend the traditions of patriarchy. The temptation to consider the trouble with the baby purely women’s work, do not have nothing to do with man. The temptation to wait for any child’s age when he becomes worthy of man’s attention. In some popes invented the age refers to the beginning in school (and then gradually moves away from the year on year), others have a delay and to continue. Be able to overcome this mythology, to learn from the very first days of life to see him rapidly evolving man to his development, and his mother and father, we need love and attention to each of them – the first task of his father.
Advice to young fathers
Young fathers are very proud of their new, interesting and responsible role. But often in their care, attention and support needs not only the baby but also the wife. And because, as favorite, confident and feminine mother will feel how closely you read the advice to young fathers, depends on the mood and the baby’s health and, ultimately, happiness Family.
Recommendations young father:
Do not let his wife feel thrown into the sea of domestic chores. In the evening, you are completely free to reheat dinner, serve a double table with a cup of tea to ask how was your day, what kind of help is needed. Do not forget to tell you about his affairs, because you – the only bridge between the isolated and the larger world.
If at night you can not get up to the kid, his wife provide a full evening’s entertainment, taking care all the care of the baby (and at home), the. But it is better if the young mother will rest at night.
Walks together – a great way to relax and enjoy each other’s company.
The release of the two of us (exhibitions, museums, theater) needed to break away from the bustle of the weekdays and remember that you are also interesting interlocutors.
Different signs of attention, along with the help of the house and care for the child, will serve for the spouse a sign that the birth of the baby only increased the importance of your relationship.
Affection for the child
No one claims to immediately satisfy any child need. However, there is one unshakable rule: the children beyond which parents are good, who love, protect from real and not fictional misfortunes – such children condescertain to omissions of parents.
Some researchers believe that immediately after birth, the child comes a period of increased sensitivity, thanks to which parents manage to establish close relationships with it. But the sense of attachment can only be said after half a year.
Attachment is a close connection between the child and another person who is formed in late infancy and remains for a long time, sometimes for life. And the children themselves contribute a considerable contribution to the development of this attachment.
Attention to the father’s father
Family members in which the child was recently born, can be considered simultaneously as sources and consumers of energy. The newborn receives energy from the mother, while her the most needed time to restore the strength, and there is also concerns about the baby. Father continues to work and interact with the outside world, so it becomes a kind of energy source for his wife and – through it – for a child. In the first months, the baby is in the energetic field of the mother, there is a powerful energy connection between him and mom. Therefore, it is important to attach attention to the father of the child.
At this stage, the mother is the most important person. Father is hard to be a source of energy, it is from time to time it is required to feed.
Father’s participation in the life of a child
It is very important that dad from birth at the life of the baby, because it is at that time warm relations are established and the strongest attachments are formed. Father can not only keep a child in his arms and play with him, but also feed (if the child is on artificial feeding), bathe or take a bath with the baby, make a massage. Pope, who were present in childbirth, usually, happy to take part of the concerns about children, a special mutual understanding is established between them.
Many fathers take a vacation at work at their own expense to be at home in the first week after the birth of the kid. At this time, they try to get acquainted with a new family member and help his wife. If there is a senior child in the family, then the dad should surround it with attention to soften the possible manifestations of jealousy to the younger), as well as give his wife the opportunity to pay a newborn maximum care.
With the advent of the baby’s family, a woman often lacks forces and time to be with her husband. As a result, a man suffers from lack of attention and sexual contacts. However, this will not be a serious problem if the spouses know how to provide each other energy feeding without sexual intercourse, using bodily contact and affectionately. This is well written in the book Helen Kaplan "New Sexual Therapy" ("The New Sex Therapy"). One way to express love and tenderness is a relaxing massage.
Massage allows you to remove the voltage and get an energy feeding, and just once a week. During conversations, young fathers agree with me, but noted that a suitable specialist is very difficult to find. It would be wonderful if masseurs specialized in a massage for young fathers.
Do not forget that the baby brings with him not only the problems, but also joy. Positive emotions that you experience, watching then, as a child grows and develops, as well as pride for it, too, are a kind of energy feeding.
Attach efforts to determine the range of needs and your own, and other family members, then it will be easier for you to find ways to satisfy them and avoid conflicts.