Three reasons for family happiness
Probably, I will never be tired of talking about thanks, about working out erroneous beliefs, and more precisely, then about the negative parent scenario of family relationships.
And when they ask me what the secret of our happy relationship with her husband, the first thing I call is the study of parental programs and reprogramming the subconscious on the positive development of events. The second is a gratitude to my husband for all that good, what he does for me and for our family. And the third is the study and understanding of what is important for a man (directly for my husband), and what is not (t.E. Study of male psychology. I love to read articles and books Rashid Kirrova &# 128578; And I recommend you in the section Psychology of men).
Quite often, I have to hear complaints of girls and women on how they are all bad in personal life. That the real men translated that a man could never praise, allegedly he immediately "sit down on her neck," that everyone has to do, and if a partner does something, then only with twenty-fifth reminder, and then not As you want a woman. And that the girl is ready and changed, and a lot of things to do to create family happiness, but often can not meet a suitable partner.
Still shocking a statement that there is no love, and when I come to an example of a few happy family couples, I hear in response the usual excuse: "They are lucky, the fate is so".
What can I say? This is the elementary position of the "victim", when instead of taking responsibility and think about the fact that in itself it hinders to find happiness and strong, happy family, instead, the girl or woman finds extreme and guilty. For example, the first option is when "All men to … and St. …", second option "Not lucky, I have such a fate (or karma, or on the family is written and t.D.) ". In general, a standard number of excuses and claims for someone there, who allegedly gave her some unhappy fate and now, by virtue of circumstances, she either can not meet his half, or meets, but after time it is convinced that What "And this turned out to be a goat".
At one time, according to youth, stupidity, I myself was convinced that real men were transferred that I was oh, I didn’t have it, and that with my destiny, the universe clearly wrote something, instead of happiness, I had problems and suffering. and that … in general, you can list long. If you want to hear all these complaints and inhibit, you can ask anyone who plays the role of "victim". We will come to a more constructive conversation with you.
So what to do if "With fate, you are not lucky and peasants translated"?
Although I repeatedly wrote about this and on the site "Solar hands", and in your books, you can read in the book &# 171; What are happy women silent, or how to make a man get off the sofa&# 187;, Apparently, this information is not a lot.
First, What you should do, trace, and do you live like your mother lives (grandmother, guardian and t.D.). Quite often, the daughter adopts and copies the behavior, and therefore the fate of his parents. By the way, it happens that the behavior and fate of the Father, it all depends on who was closer to her.
There is another second version of the development of events, this is when the girl lives on the anti-scenario of parents. But it happens much less often and, in fact, the method of study is the same as in the first case. The main thing is to realize the reason why you do not have relationships with men. More importantly, it is not to think that you have some kind of fate there is not so, or that there is no suitable man and the like things. If you understand what the root of your problems, you can eliminate these problems. Suppose you saw yourself from the side and realized that in a relationship with men, we behave like your mom, who is not an example of a happy woman who lived with her husband all his life in harmony and joy. And now you understand that you need to work in yourself some habits and images that are filtered into your subconscious from early childhood. To do this, you begin methodically, every day, erase and troubleshoot these programs. (In this article, I will not describe in detail the methodology for the study of parental programs itself, since it has already described it in detail in other articles and in books. Who is interested, see or read in the article "Our wonderful childhood. It’s time to work with him! (Part 1)")
After you are a few months, and better a year, worked and rewritten parental programs and recorded a new image of relationships with men, in your life everything will change dramatically. I want to immediately answer the question that I hear from many, "And if nothing changes"? – it just can not be. If you all did right if you every day (hear every day), for several months I washed erroneous beliefs and put in our subconscious image of a happy relationship with a man, then these relationships, already regardless of you, will appear in your life.
It is similar to the study of a foreign language or to train drawing, or to memorize poems. If you make the same action every day, then sooner or later you will begin to make it on the "automatic". So with reprogramming of negative images and beliefs that "you have such a fate" and "Peasics translated". If you every day, for several months, have laid a new image of relationships and new beliefs, then through time this image will begin to be implemented in your life, regardless of your external actions. You can read in more detail how to lay a positive image of relationships with men, in the article "Visualization of desires, or a happy family and the image of joy in family relationships"
Second, this gratitude. Just do not think that I am talking about background gratitude. Gratitude must be engaged every day, as well as a negative belief. In fact, you should leave for 10-15 minutes on the exercise called "I thank you for …" and a long list of what you thank you. T.E. sat down in the evening at home in silence and rest, and began to record those moments for which you are grateful to fate. In principle, there are several types of gratitude diaries. One of them can be common, where you write everything in general, for which you are grateful to life, the other is aimed at improving self-esteem, read about it in the article "How to gain confidence and learn to enjoy life? Or your Diary of Success ", And the third diary will be aimed at attracting men to your life or improving those relations with a partner that already exists now.
Why keep a similar diary of gratitude, I think you understand. After all, as often happens, today there has been some good event, we rejoice, jump from happiness or laugh, we are happy and think that never, I never forget that never. For example, you went down the street and heard the two pleasant men following you said: "Well, what about the same girl!"Or come home, and there is a huge bouquet of your favorite colors and tickets to Seychelles – a gift from your beloved. And here you think that you will definitely never forget.
But what is really happening, I think we all know. We forget. Just something a little earlier, and something a little later. Life is going on with its own way, so you flew out of vacation, began to live together and realized that your chosen one was not the ideal that you would like to do. Yes, he is quite good, and makes you gifts, and it seems like it tries, but how many flaws! And now you have already forgotten that he once gave you that he helped you organize and transport furniture that he made you repairs, that he repaired your computer, and still constantly brings you if you are late and meets late In the evening, and more … But you all forget this, or do not even perceive something good and worthwhile. You think that nothing happens. You have the most ordinary man who only does that kosychit, mistaken, does not fulfill promises and jokes is men, t.E. completely stupid in your opinion, and also he and such &# 171; wrapper&# 187;, and socks scatter, and the crumbs behind them does not wipe on the table. Here it is some, bad!
But stand, wait where your thoughts with such feverish speed have come, when we started talking about the qualities of your chosen one who do not suit you? Why didn’t you like to remember all that good that he does for you every day? Yes because our brain has such a wonderful ability how to forget. But, on the one hand, it is wonderful, and on the other – not always good. After all, if we forget the good and constantly concentrate the thoughts only on the bad, then we already seem that "Men are all … and..", And" nothing good happens in life, "" And I live not so that "and t.D.
For a happy relationship, it is important to regularly record those moments for which you are grateful to your man. But even more important – to reread these records. Write everything that you like in a partner. Record all that is important for you and relevant. Do not think that in relationships there are little things that are not worth your attention or that they will be recorded in the Diary of Gratitude. Make such records as:
&# 8212; You met me yesterday late in the evening after work, and when we came home, there was almost ready-made soup on the stove. You hurried and did not have time to add onions and dill, but these are such trifles compared to that care and attention I felt at this moment;
&# 8212; Yesterday came to the office and on the bedside table, where there is a kettle and all sorts of tea supplies, I was waiting for a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers. How is it cute from your side. How nice to feel your love and attention!
&# 8212; there was heavy rain, it was impossible to move across the road, such deep were puddles. I stood and thought whether it is worth removing shoes or go to another traffic light. And then you picked me on my arms and calmly moved across the road, commenting on that: "Why mock two, I still mock my legs, why still go on puddles?!"
&# 8212; You are so clumsy in the manifestation of your love and attention. The other day you had a day off, but I needed to go to the meeting. And instead of telling it to say that I missed and want to go with me, I began to invent different reasons. And I have a heavy bag, and you need to spend me (although this time, except for the handbag, I did not take anything with it), and that I will be bored alone, and you tell me something on the road, and something else there. I did not immediately understand, and when I guessed and asked straight, you were inflated and commented: "Well, really it is not clear that I missed, I could pretend that I did not understand and what you need my help". Favorite, of course, I need your help, do not even doubt it!
Do similar records and must reread them. In time it will not take a lot, but if you are in the evening, instead of noticing bad, you will begin to remember that I made your partner good, it will be good every day to grow and increase. And soon you will forget that they have grumbled on your beloved for not witching table and not purchased sour cream. After all, he did so much for the day, and he will surely buy sour cream. Details of the Diary of Gratitude and how it affects family relationships, read in the article "Diary of gratitude, or a happy family and its secrets".
Do not think that the maintenance of such a diary can be useful only to those girls and women who are married. Nothing like this! If the belief was rooted in you that "all the men goats", you just first need to keep such observations and constantly reread them. Try in every man to find something good and definitely write some signs of attention, positive actions and actions of men in relation to you. It only seems that men are inattentive, soulless, do not understand anything and t.D. In fact, they try, they simply do not always understand what their actions will like the girl, and which no. Often they act so only because in their male world it is not customary to be sensual, weak, gentle and t.D. So carry the habits of communication from the male world to our, female.
So we approached the third point, studying male psychology and how to understand a man how to learn to interact with him so that he was good and we are fine.
so, Third, the study of men and their psychology. At some point, when I began to make a relationship with the opposite sex, and in particular with my husband, I drew attention to myself and on my habits. Somehow I noticed what I say and do something for my husband, proceeding not from his preferences, but from what I think the best for him.
At that moment, this discovery was not very pleasant to me, because I considered myself a perfect woman, so correct, for which a man should stand the mountain and seek her all life. In general, the ideal. But something in this ideal was clearly not so, since at that time the husband and flowers did not give, and did not help, and did not fulfill those promises that gave. And if with the two items listed items at that moment I am more or less started to understand, then in understanding of men and their psychology I was a clear zero.
On the same day, or rather, the evening, I arranged my husband a real exam. It cost him to come home from work and a little rest, eat, how I immediately began to ask him about him. He was clearly surprised, since such interest on my part to his person was not observed before, but, nevertheless, he thought about my questions and honestly answered them.
At some point, I began to object to comment on something and tried to convince him in the opposite. To which he calmly said: "Well, if you think that you know me better than I am and know what I need and what I want, why do you ask then?"
Honestly I was ashamed. And I still remember this moment, although almost seven years have passed since that day. But it was then that I fully realized how badly I understand my man and that it is important for him, and what not. What he likes and that he is sad. That he inspires and stimulates on exploits and regular successes, and what can knock out a few days from the rut.
Since that day I began to thoroughly study male psychology, and the main thing is how to behave with your loved one so that he understands and did what I want him to be happy with me. So that he wanted to go home and that not only his interests be taken into account, but mine.
I got it all, and I’m sure what happens and you. Most importantly, act in the right direction. Read, learn and do. But do surely systematically, every exercise for 3-4 months daily, the diary is gratitude to all your life. Learn male psychology together with our Sun "Solar Hands" and Rashid Kirrenov in the section "Psychology of Men". And everything will be fine with you, like many of our regular readers, from which we regularly receive letters with gratitude and stories about how their lives have become much better and happier after familiarizing with our site.