Envy, there is nothing but the hate itself
Find a person who would never have envied anyone, most likely impossible. Waking up early in the morning, we would like to be on the place of those who do not need to go to work, and having received forced «vacation» – Become to those who are sitting in the office in the morning. Making a chemical twist, remember a girlfriend having curls from nature, and after a hard workout in the gym We think about another that can sit on the couch for all day, there are candy and not fat, and so on.
Envy is often called negative emotion. But psychologists claim that this is true only when it appears just a minute, for example, at the sight of beautiful expensive shoes on a familiar. Something like – «And I would have such, but there is no money, well, well». And if we constantly think about this acquaintance, her shoes, dresses and faithful fans, envy becomes an emotional installation, that is, feeling. Moreover, as Japanese scientists from the National Institute of Radiology, it looks like pain. It turns out that the reaction of the brain during its experience takes place in the front of the belt is stupid – the same region of the brain plays a key role in treating pain.
Superficial reasons why we suffer over envy, nothing else as hate, maybe a million. But the basis of them is the same – when compared with others, the bill is not in our favor. However, not at all low self-esteem is one of the main catalysts of this feeling.
Black and white
Masha recently found friends to the airport – they flew to India for two weeks. And she has not been on vacation for half a year! Actually, Masha rejoiced. But not only. Therefore, honestly informed them that he envies white envy. And a girlfriend holding a happy ticket to the ocean in her hands, said: «But you have such a car!» But Masha knew exactly – a girlfriend is a good glad to buy her dream car. In a word, they envied and disappeared, satisfied with each other. Because in this case, the phrase used «White envy» as synonymous expression «sincere joy for others. Not very successful synonym, but in Russian it happens. But experts, speaking about the division of this cattle feeling on the envy of white and black, imply division into constructive and destructive. The first carries motivation for useful cases, the second – hatred and inaction.
White envy is an envy with an admixture of intelligence. A person at least analyzes who it makes sense to chase, and for whom there is no. And, most importantly, having shut down at someone else’s success, he already builds plans that he should do in order to achieve the same high results.
And the black envy is not constructive and even destructive, because it does not give an incentive to do something. Why, if the one who has achieved this, the same as I, and he just fell on his head?
In addition, he is confident that black envy destroys not only a separate person, but also the whole society as a whole. After all, envy, nothing else, as hate, many suffer. Imagine one person possessed another that there is some kind of thing, and he became her to take her. They came up and in the heat of fights the notorious thing broke or broke. Now no one, no one has nothing. And if the second seeing the first thing at the first, I would solve «I will go and earn on the same or better», That would eventually appear two beautiful expensive things instead of one, plus an additional stimulus to work to earn, show constructive activities. That, on the contrary, it also happens for the benefit of society.
However, there is an opinion that the constructive envy is in itself danger: with imperative use, it can cause a sense of inferiority or to prevent achieving what really needs. Such a feeling should be every person in reasonable limits. It’s something like hunger – after all, if a person does not feel it, he will no longer eat and will not live for a long time. Although with an excessive appetite will begin to suffer from overeating. Adults explained that, comparing themselves with others, we clearly see our shortcomings, and it gives the impulse to strive to become better. And completely without envy turns into indifferent, primarily to himself, the creature. But it admits that, although it helps her in a career, what is a sense of satisfaction with his work, she has already forgotten.
And one of my familiar problem. She envies the figures of slender, fragile women, so every day goes to the gym and tried all diets. But its constitution simply does not allow to achieve the desired image. And as a result, quite a pretty and slim girl constantly cosy himself, then for laziness, then for the gluttony – ate three cabbage sheets instead of two and also considers themselves a thick bow.
Understand and neutralize
One way or another, this is a ricking feeling – a certain bell that hints to you that something in your life or in you the most or not so. This is really like with pain: if we never felt it, you could not start treating diseases in time. So it is worth learn to manage it. First, you need to be able to understand when you really envy. After all, often we unconsciously or specifically, in order not to injure yourself with your loved ones, we confuse it with an allegedly critical attitude towards who, as it seems to us, has achieved undeserved success, or accept for the insult – they say, I do not envy, but why is the other, Successful trying to show me that I am worse?
Experts list the symptoms of hidden envy:
– You are bored listen to the joyful news of the interlocutor;
– Your mood will deteriorate, the desire to finish the meeting as soon as possible;
– There is a pity for yourself.
Not sure? Then ask yourself: it would be easier for you if tomorrow the same person lost all the joys that he now has? If yes (at least a little bit), you just envy. And much more useful for yourself to admit. Autotraining helps to tune in to a positive attitude towards the world around the world as a whole. Then need to analyze: what exactly we are missing? Perhaps the point is not that someone increased instead of you, but in the fact that you did not finish the very necessary foreign language you?
I realized myself, you can safely draw up an action plan to achieve what really needs and important. Make a new hairstyle, change the wardrobe, sign up for English courses, pass your apartment and wave for a year on Bali. Or just suddenly discover that you really are all right, and enjoy your life without looking back on others.